Bills 22, Texans 7

all is right with the world, the bills are 1-0 and on their way! Woo Woo!

so, i live in ithaca, ny. you should come visit me. i've been here about 3 weeks, so most people know who i am, so all you'd have to do is ask for me. i moved in with 2 girls i had never met, but they are both starting in the same program this semester (yes! sexy parties!). well, after the first weekend, one of them - we'll call her sophie - moved out (damn, no sexy parties). her room was apparently too small for her. i ask you, what kind of person moves out of a living situation because their room is too small??? such pettyness! so, i've been less than pumped about paying extra rent because the bitch had to fly, but as of tonight we have a new roommate (whew! sexy parties). fortunately for me - and isn't that all that matters - a terrible hurricane hit the bayou and displaced many people. she had just started at the university of new orleans, which probably doesn't any longer exist. so now she's going here. that worked out. incidentally, she's from long island and actually lived with a girl in undergrad who grew up on the same street as me.

i like school here. it's enormous and you could probably do anything here you wanted. they even have a wine tasting course. i have a class with pavel. do you remember pavel? he was that giant polish kid who walked around colby always looking like he was pissed off. apparently that's his normal face. he's lots of fun. i've also seen karin a few times. i didn't really know who she was, but she saw me and was really excited and knew my name and stuff... so i guess i missed that one. who's surprised? oh, and annie, you guys remember her? i've hung out with her a few times, we even went jumping in the gorges. that's fun. when you come to visit we'll go jumping in the gorges. (yes, i do hit the water like a sack of cats)

ok, is that enough for now? i'm still working on the humor thing, but it will be along any day now.

Is this thing on?

hi. do you still read this? i guess so. huh, go figure. so I've been MIA for a bit. well, please no one take it personally. you see, I stopped working, so I stopped having tons of time to dick around on the computer reading people's blogs and writing inane nonsense on my own. i went to maine for a vacation... which was very nice. i went to mount desert island (which, if you didn't know, is pronounced like deserted, because that's what it means. Everyone knows that the only desert in maine is near freeport!) THEN, i moved. i now live in ithaca and i can confirm that it is, in fact, gorges. i am a graduate student now, and no self-respecting graduate student would have a blog or read other blogs talking about their latest foray into ice cream production or whatever the hell it is you guys ramble on about. so i will not be blogging anymore.*

*indicates uncertain factuality of statement

The Empire Strikes First

we strike first
and we're unreahersed
here we go again
to stage the greatest show on heaven and earth
come on, get your money's worth

don't wanna live
don't wanna give
don't wanna be
E-M-P-I-R-E

we're comin' on fast
and we're built to last
we stumbled once in 'Nam
now we're glad to finally say
those days have passed
tell me how long can it last!

don't wanna live
don't wanna give
don't wanna be
E-M-P-I-R-E

we just started out
you don't need to be afraid
yeah you deserve two minutes hate

well, we split and we cursed and our bleeding hearts burst
but even ten million souls
marching in february couldn't stop the worst
couldn't reverse

don't wanna live
don't wanna give
don't wanna be
E-M-P-I-R-E
don't wanna live
don't wanna be
E-M-P-I-R-E

funny man

jon's funny:

"...but let's begin tonight with what's been a tough week for the bush family. first, close friend and oriels baseball player rafael palmerio tested positive for steriods. and on monday, bush friend king fahd of saudi arabia tested negative for being alive."

...and distressing:

"before going on recess, congress broke a four-year impasse by approving a massive energy bill. and - while it did nothing to address our dependence on foreign oil, or feul efficiency, or in any way simplify the strategic nature of our relationship with the middle east - it does give oil and gas industries $500 million for research and $2.7 billion in tax breaks. even though a company like exxon-mobil made $7.6 billion in pure profit just this past quarter. and by quarter, i mean 3 months."

labor prostitution

ways i've made money this summer:

• "internship"
• clinical trial subject - took experimental medication for treating high blood pressure. i don't have high blood pressure.
• powerwashed and stained my family's deck
• produced charts using hundreds of thousands of data points measured by SmartPill of pressure and pH of clinical trial subjects.
• participated in SmartPill clinical trial
• graduation party

NOTE: SmartPill is a digestible capsule that measures pressure, temperature, acidity, and others in your body, throughout the digestive tract. It is still in production, but will be used to diagnose GI disorders. My father is head of Research and Development for the production of this pill.

ways i've spent money this summer:

• stupid shit
• over $160 in bank fees (for a single error)
• repaying debts
• new bicycle
• $0.37 donation to Colby Alumni Fund
  
• more stupid shit
• renting an apartment

net result: i'm broke

now accepting donations.

apparently, they're allowed to make shit up

as a citizen and servant to society, i find it valuable from time to time to pass along those things which i deem important. well, to that end i will share two things that changed my life this summer. in doing so i hope to enlighten and broaden the horizons of you, my fellow citizen. both of these items help to make me a more complete person... and after all, isn't that the point?

DISCLAIMER: These items are not to be confused with experiences such as living on the other side of the world for a few months, maintaining gardens in mississippi, or picking up and moving to some random city god-knows-where. Nonetheless, they are valuable - in a more subtle way.

1. Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them

i borrowed al franken's latest book-on-cd from the library. occasionally one will get involved in a book that they can't stop reading, or can't wait to pick up again... well this is one of those - but in my case by "reading" i mean "listening." franken details the mind-blowing hypocrisy and arrogance of many of today's conservative spokespeople - ann coulter, bill o'reilly, bernie goldberg, and rush limbaugh to name a few (though i understand limbaugh is more thoroughly stripped down in franken's earlier work rush limbaugh is a big fat idiot, and other observations). it's not possible to imagine the things he talks about without actually reading (or, of course, listening) his book - they are simply too unbelievable. oh, and not to mention, hilarious. the following are some of franken's chapter titles:

• Ann Coulter: Nutcase
• You know who I don't like? Ann Coulter
• I bitch-slap Bernie Goldberg
• I meet the former first lady Barbara Bush and it doesn't go so well
• Fun with racism

in the book, franken attempts to discredit notable conservatives by giving examples that would cause one to question the merits of ANYTHING ANY OF THEM EVER SAID AGAIN. for example, ann coulter regularly misrepresents quotes, opinions, and facts of people. she does this intentionally, as evidenced by her endnotes (which she calls footnotes and are much less convenient and effective - unless you are trying to lie). coulter will take a quote from a book review in the new york times and attribute it to the "editorial opinion of the new york times." literally, what i'm saying is, if a reviewer writes describing a book saying,

"the author writes that President Bush is a racist ideologue with no regard for those who disagree,"

coulter will write, "the New York Times writes that George W. Bush is "a racist ideologue with no regard for those who disagree." i shit you not.

finally, franken comes to a conclusion about the president that i've not before considered, and one that i'm willing to agree with. but you'll have to read it to find out. or listen.

2. Crash

without a doubt, this is the best movie in quite some time. if you haven't seen it - please do. i will not go in to the details of it, except to say that it is an entire level above most movies i've ever seen. its understanding of humanity and the complexities therein is virtually unparalleled, and i feel better about myself for having seen it and appreciated it.

this blog is not called finger food

i'm nothing if not a follower. especially not a leader. so now that just about everyone else has one it's just about the right time for me to get a weblog - or blog for short. OK, mostly it was dan's incessant pestering. this one's for you.

i'm not one with much to say worth paying attention to when i'm around people, so i have a difficult time imagining why someone would travel to this site to read what i'm babbling about. but then again, there i go checking on dan's and julia's and court's and even doug's "blogs" to see if they've updated them. i even get angry when julia (who i like to call the cause of all this nonsense) won't ever write in hers! but then again, they're all witty. i guess i'll have to learn to be witty.

one last thing. this blog is called "cayuga lake." a pretty uninspired, mundane name. let me tell you what happened. i was trying to come up with something clever, original, and appropriately vague and random while maintaining a degree of freshness. well, i came up with "finger food." surely, the merits of this choice are debatable, but at least it was something! nevertheless, it was taken - apparently by some crazy person. (though, one might argue that no one with their own "blog" is fully stable) anyway - i hope you all enjoy cayuga lake.

i feel so much better now that i've conformed.